Wednesday, June 22, 2016

10 Thoughts Whilst Buying A New Bikini

Despite having an entire drawer on my white Ikea chest dedicated to all things beach related such as bikinis, hats, bags and cover ups, every year I fall under the spell that is the bikini season. Every store is stocking the latest trend in the bikini world; they come in way too many different styles and colours that it almost all becomes a nightmare for a shopaholic like me. Of course we have that pair we turn to in desperate times, but with the summer holidays booked and the anxious wait that is having to expose yourself in front of many, buying a new bikini is a must and that is when the painful process of doing so commences.


Turning to online shopping may seem like the answer to our problems. The benefits: you get to see all options in one place, avoid long queues and messy mismatched bikini sets, and you can sort of tell how they look on thanks to the gorgeous 6ft tall Amazonian supermodel. Problem is, you add so many to your basket and upon arrival none, I repeat none, of them look good or fit well leading to the frustration of having to queue at the post office (and you thought you had avoided all the queuing) to return the entire parcel, bringing you back to square one.


"That's it; I am going to hit the shops tomorrow and try a whole load of bikinis to find the one". For this, one prepares frantically and that entails going to the gym for 4 hours the day before, adopting a drastic weight-loss diet, shaving and waxing, and applying fake tan followed by lots of cellulite gel, all in the hope they will make any difference whatsoever to the body that hasn't seen a treadmill in months.


Being kinda tired of the same style summer after summer, one might consider new fashion trends. After seeing many shots of Taylor Swift rocking her high-waisted bottoms one will proceed to try this 50's style bikini only to realise she looks nothing like Taytay and the result is a lot more Bridget Jones.


"Triangles bikinis are great"- said no one ever. They will only work on those with smaller chests (not my case) or those who have had a boob job done because those things are sooo unsupportive and in the first dive or wave, you will be left topless.


One-pieces are great to hide your stomach and give you a piece of mind for keeping everything in place throughout the day. Trouble is, you will either look like a character straight out of Baywatch or have flashbacks to the day you used to compete in school swimming events.


Strapless bikini tops look stylish and you can avoid weird tan lines but they were not invented for those with cup sizes bigger than B. How are my boobs supposed to defy gravity?

7. THIS LIGHTING *shakes head*

Finally settling on 3 different pairs, it's time to try them on! Everyone knows this, fitting rooms have horrible lighting so everything you did in point 2 will have gone to waste because even if you are slim and fit, chances are your body will still look bumpy. Every inch of your body will look like its covered in cellulite and worse yet, try a bikini in one of those three-way mirror fitting room where you can see EVERYTHING…the horror!


My body is out of proportion thanks to inheriting large breasts from mum's side of the family. This means that despite being a UK size 10 bottoms, a size 10 top will not cover even a quarter of my chest. Maybe if I put two different sizes together in a hanger.. will the shop assistance notice?


After trying around what seems like 100 pairs from Topshop, M&S and the likes I'm heading to Primark. They are inexpensive, oddly shaped and inferior quality aka just what I need!

10. PACKING MY OLD FAVOURITES, just in case...

"I know I just bought 5 new pairs but I should take my old favourite too just in case I run out, right?". On the first day of holiday, the shopper will totally dismiss the newly bought bikini which is now sitting at the bottom of the luggage and instead proceed to wear her old time favourite the entire trip. The newly bought bikini will return home intact and will be taken back to the shop for a full refund.

Tell me, do you have trouble buying bikinis too? It's a horrible experience isn't it? I really don't understand why we put ourselves through this every season only to return everything we buy lol.

Thoughts, tips, stories? Let me know below!
Thanks for reading beauties!


*All images do not belong to me. Gifs source


  1. I loved the post, dear Pam! You are so right about everything! Yes, buying a bikini was always a horrible experience to me, because I had large breasts when I was a teenager - it was a nightmare to fin the right one, and it was not a time when stores sold them in a separate way. But I have sun allergy, so I don't go to the beach much. I loved the "expectation" - Taylor Swift and the reality :) I guess you are right, just go to Primark, but take your favorite pieces with you, to a nice vacation :)

  2. Love it. Thanks for sharing!

    ** Join Love, Beauty Bloggers on facebook. A place for beauty and fashion bloggers from all over the world to promote their latest posts!


  3. How funny! This is a great post Pam, really well done!

  4. Enjoyed it very much :)


  5. This made me laugh, not going to lie I don't even own one bikini and I'm going to have to go shopping for one when I get paid. So wish I could pull off the whole high waisted thing haha x

  6. Lol, was fun to read, Pam. Sorry to hear it's such a pain in the rumpus for you to shop for a bikini. Happy hump day, hun.

  7. Cool Blog 💕
    And OMG ... I've the same Template ^^ haha
    Love ,

  8. I don't buy many bikinis! But I imagine it would be a nightmare to find the perfect one! There are so many lovely ones out there though :)

    Leah And Rachel Goth | Alternative beauty, fashion and lifestyle blog

  9. I haven't shopped for a bikini in years! Hopefully by next summer I'll be confident enough to shop for a new one :)

    Renee | Life After Lux

  10. LMAO! I had a really good chuckle at this post, Pam! I am lucky with bikini as I am slender and small chest so most bikinis fit me nicely. LOL!

    Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

  11. This is so relatable! I wear different sized top and bottoms and I always have trouble finding separates. Fortunately I have a small bust so bikini tops are a bit easier to shop for. Loved the post :)

    Sarah | What Sarah Writes

  12. Funny posts! I wish I was bikini ready so ready to pop this baby out! ha

    xo, Mary

  13. I love these posts Pam! So funny and so true! I took my old favourite bikini on my last holiday even thought it had been about 5 years since I wore it! Can never find anything supportive enough that still looks good!

    Danielle's Beauty Blog

  14. Postagem maravilhosa

  15. love this! This is my first bikini season after baby so I am embracing the one piece haha :)

  16. So funny post!!

    xx LL

  17. And this is why I don't wear bikinis. Hahahaha! I've only worn a bikini once and that was an experience I do not want to happen again. Hahaha! This is so funny Pam! <3

    xx Bash |   go say   H E Y   B A S H

  18. Haha, I may not understand the bikini dilemma (I refuse to wear one), and this makes me happy that's the case xD It sounds traumatizing! And as for one pieces giving you flashbacks, you should look into the new ones they're putting out. I don't know, I feel pretty damn stylish in the ones I've found. My fringe one from PacSun always gets me compliments since it stands out in a sea of bikinis. I just ordered a palm tree print one that I'm excited to get soon!
    But this was hilarious Pam, you always compile the best and most entertaining lists (and spot on memes)

    The Dragonfruit Diaries
    Visit my YouTube channel!

  19. I only ever buy my bikinis in store, one where you can buy bottoms and tops separately, and if I have found one (or two) I will wear them until they fall apart. Oh, and no triangle or strapless, I need to move in my clothes.

    Linda, Libra, Loca: Beauty, Baby and Backpacking

  20. Haha this is funny. I'm glad I don't wear bikini so I don't have problems like these. Good luck on searching for the perfect bikini for you!

    Love, Fads

  21. This is honestly so, so accurate!!!

    Katie //

  22. Such a fun post!
    Love from {a lifestyle, fashion, beauty, and food blog}

  23. Haha this made me laugh! How true you are though about bigger chester bikini woes - I have to bypass all the pretty, flimsy bikini tops and head straight to support!

    www.Barely There | British Beauty & Lifestyle blog


  24. Perfect :D
    Beijinho ♡

  25. great !

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  26. Haha, this is so true XD
    Nati xx

  27. Love this post!! I hate buying new bikinis! I always go back to my old favorites. And I'm never sure how i feel about spending stupid money on them, so I just go back Primark every time!
    a life of a charlotte

  28. This is so true! Great and funny post my dear :-) I prefer invest in high quality bikini but I have this for few years -I'm afraid to change it ;-)

  29. haha:) I bought my best bikini in online store and it costed very little.
    I hate triangles bikini and one-pieces, definitely agree with your theory about strapless bikini;)


  30. Oh my goodness, I love this post! A couple of weeks ago I went on a really last minute trip and had two days to buy new swimwear, I literally had all the above emotions in a whirlwind! haha! xo

  31. this is hilariously good! and I feel you on the big boob issues. I can't tell you how many times naive sahra has tried a triangle or strapless bikini.... so bad haha

    XO Sahra
    Que Sera Sahra

  32. Haha, great post and so true, I'm going through it right now!!
    Have a lovely weekend :)
    Rosanna x
    Rose's Rooftop

  33. When i get pregnant, i feel in love with one piece swimwear as it hides my tummy and i feel comfortable swimming around with that bloated bump.
    Great thoughts to live by.

    The Bandwagon Chic | Instagram | Bloglovin | Snapchat: bandwagonchic

  34. I loved Taylor Swift expectation and reality, thanks for making me laugh LoL, that was good one, Pam. Loved this post. Wish you a beautiful weekend ahead , sweetie.

  35. Wow! Amazing inspirations

  36. I loved this post! It's so accurate it's actually sad haha
    I hate going shopping for any summer wear but swimsuits are the worst!

    xo Honey
    Royal Lifestyle

  37. I loved the post, is was so funny!
    I bought a bikini online recently and the underpants were bigger than my two legs together! I laughed so much when look myself in the mirror!

    I followed the blog, I loved it!


  38. Hahaha ! Really nice post :D And funny :D

    Can you visit my? Thanks! :)

  39. I love the humour to this post! Swimsuit shopping can definitely be daunting for a lot of people. I think there are some one pieces that can really compliment your body though! I just did a post on it and found that it was so convenient to throw on shorts over and make a complete outfit!

    So happy I found your blog, really loving the content- very entertaining!


  40. such a great post! you have a really good blog :D


  41. The struggle is real with strapless and triangle, haha. This totally had me in stitches. But anyhow, I love high waisted anything so naturally I drift towards high waisted bikinis. Great Great post Pam!

  42. The struggle is real with strapless and triangle, haha. This totally had me in stitches. But anyhow, I love high waisted anything so naturally I drift towards high waisted bikinis. Great Great post Pam!

  43. This comment has been removed by the author.

  44. Haha! I hate bikini shopping and agree with all the points although I'm small chested so need to find bikinis that will flatter my boobs instead of making them almost flat, haha! And yes, I ended up wearing my old bikini on my recent holidays :) x

    Mummy’s Beauty Corner

  45. I hate bikini shopping, I'm so glad I'm not going away this year! xx

    Gemma ♡ Miss Makeup Magpie

  46. OMG its so funny. hahaha i wear bikinis a lot. thanks for sharing.

  47. Very helpful Pam. I've been struggling in buying my bikini. Thanks for your wonderful comment on Qing's Style Please always keep in touch, I would love to hear from you!

    Follow me @qingsstyle on Instagram and Twitter!

  48. this is such a whimsical post, very interesting and informative <3 I'd love to wear a swim suit but my body is not ready :)) rash guard for me I guess :D

    Capturing Life Memoirs |

  49. Love this post, it's so relatable! I definitely get what you mean about triangle bikinis...I always feel like my boobs are going to fall right out of them! x

    |Georgia Megan|

  50. This is so true.. I love it! I'm always looking for new blogger friends and I love your blog, let me know if you would like to follow each other and stay in touch! x

  51. Great post Pam! Very well composed <3

  52. Identifico-me a 100%, não descreveria melhor ahaha
    Messy Hair, Don't Care

  53. oh YES, I hate buying new bikinis, and YEs, you totally nailed my thought too :D:D

  54. I can't even remember the last time I bought a bikini :O x

    Heather | Of Beauty & Nothingness x

  55. Hahahahahaha I am dying! This is so true! I can't buy them to save me! I always stand in the changing room having a breakdown lol!

    Fix Me In Forty Five - A Beauty & Lifestyle Blog
    Blog Lovin' // Instagram

  56. haha these are soo true.. I have the same issues.. My top is like an XL but a small bottom.. I have so many issues finding the right bikini. xxo

  57. LOOOL love this post hun!

    Mich x

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  59. God yes, I had buying bikinis!! I've always been smaller on the bottom with a larger chest and I've found now I just have to go for the swimwear with underwire because the regular kind just aren't anywhere near supportive enough for me!

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  61. Bikini models that make it big are usually those that believe in themselves. So, make sure you do! Choose a string bikini you are comfortable with, that accentuates your best features, so you really feel like you are putting your best foot - or any other body part - forward. Strut your stuff as though you are already a top model worldwide and you will find that others will already see you in the image you want to portray.


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